ThirtyFaBuLouS

I started this blog as a piece for FaBulouSiTy but decided after a few sentences that it was indeed a rambling and not ab-fab enough to fit the other page. I'm actually going to use this as a soapbox for 'thirty-something' year old women around the world. I had a conversation this weekend with a male friend (who shall remain nameless FfeJ J, not coups) who floored me a bit (if you will as I wasn't offended per se). We were talking about my upcoming move to Birmingham (and I am still excited about it all in spite of any comment made by this person or any rambling in this passage that might make one think otherwise, I'm simply blowing off some single female steam).

We were talking about ways to meet 'singles' and of course the ever popular Bible Study topic came up. I am definitely all about a Bible Study as my Beth Moore Stepping Up is in the morning and I cannot wait to attend with women of all ages from the Dothan community. However, I've never quite found a Bible Study as a great way to get a date; sometimes a Singles Bible Study is nothing more than a meat market, I prefer "meet & greet" but I typically call a spade a spade. Call me crazy...or just plain weird-That isn't exactly the point of this conversation either.

This friend mentioned to me that when I move to Birmingham I would need to meet people in church, in particularly a singles Bible Study at this The Church of the Highlands (or as I call it, the church of the Starbucks, something I doubt I'll ever get accustomed to as a good Methodist girl who appreciates more traditional worship). Indeed I think meeting other single Christians in church is a wonderful thing and where I plan to attend a church more suited to me (sans the Starbucks) I had entertained the thought of going to COH to a Bible Study to meet Christians my age. At the same time, I am not of the opinion that a Bible Study is a good dating service as others seem to believe; that's just my personal opinion. Not that I wouldn't date somebody I met in one, that just isnt my main goal of it. In my after college single past I found it a better place to meet other single females who are in the same boat who like to shop, eat dinner, travel and look for 'boys' (now men) in other places.

So anyway...this guy starts telling me that I wouldn't want to go to the Bible Study that he attends. I would certainly need to go to the 30+ something Bible Study as he (age 37) goes to the 20something to early 30s Bible Study- we would 'hardly' be in the same class (though he IS a year older than I) because as a 'thirtysomething' year old woman, I would want to be in the other class where the fortysomething year old men were because those were the men who would be interested in me. O_O He wonders why some women our age seem bitter and I might add, I'm not terribly surprised that he's still single, though he is a great guy- he's knocked a wonderful segment of the female population out of the running without giving us a chance.

Okay, I've finally picked up my jaw. Keep in mind the premise 'is' a Bible Study...? Right? Wrong, it seems. Also, I am in fact a year younger than this guy and he basically told me that he (a person my age) along with other males in my thirtysomething age group would be interested in the 20something year old women and the 40something+ year old men would be more interested in someone my age. O_O Yeah, this guy dropped over 1000 points on my meter as he basically wiped out an entire bracket of datable men MY AGE because I am TOO OLD FOR THEM!!!...!!! Granted, we 30s know that men are usually interested in younger women...But I'm no old maid and I'm not 'Older' than these men. I'm in the same generation!

Granted, I feel am too old for some people...The 23yr old hottie who continued to ask me if "I'd ever warm up to him" (I wish, but no, he was a Sr @ Auburn...I am a dozen years older and I didn't feel comfortable; guess I'm discriminating myself...just didn't want to be known as a Cougar)and several other 20somethings who have YES hit on a woman of "MY AGE" (me). It's interesting how women who date men five years + younger and we are called "COUGARS" where it's normal for men to marry someone five to ten years younger than they. Now I have to say I think anything over is a bit much. Sorry if I offend anyone (family especially) but I am not attracted to men who are my father's age and I think that's unnatural though I realize not everyone agrees. I'd like to say "it's wrong on so many levels" but that may sound a bit harsh...Though I'm putting it out there and again my apologies if I offend others, it's just my opinion and this is my personal forum.

But I am not too old for a guy in his thirties. Thankfully not all men think the way my friend does...as a matter of fact a guy I went out with some last year always made me feel more than comfortable about my age. He is three years younger than I am and he always assured me that he did not think of me as older than he is at all. I think he was the one who coined the phrase ThirtyFabulous for those of us in our 'thirties'. Merci mon ami! I've also had many younger guys 'come on to me', ask me out, etc; guys IN THEIR 20s. I actually like guys around my age and into the early forties but I don't want some guy randomly pawning me off and casting me out as part of the dating community of people in my own age group. I guess I'm telling him right here in this blog that one of the reasons he has never been married is that he has ruled out a pretty terrific part of the female population by disregarding women in his own age group. Perhaps he's insecure or simply immature, probably...idk. I'm not sticking around to find out either. I've got a host of men in and around my age group to meet and prove that women who are in the midthirties are young, vivacious, and full of life, who love ourselves and love the Lord. Our experience in life could be intimidating to this guy...It is probably the best thing about a woman my age when given the opportunity (poor misguided fellow, what he's missing ;-)!)

In closing I will remark again that this was all spoken in the text of going to a "Bible Study". My mind is still trying to wrap around that one. Why don't they just call it what it is?!?! A SINGLES MIXER...It's a way for Christian people to meet each other in an environment that's not a bar. I guess I'm more floored that a fellow Christian cast me out of the desirable, datable public. If I'm not for him, that's one thing...but don't speak for the rest of the people my age !!!

My apologies- I'm not bitter, just a bit frustrated with SINGLEHOOD. I'm usually a happy bubbly person! I hope you find the humor in this in some way...I'll probably tweak it several times to make it more funny, I just wanted to get my initial thoughts on paper. I will say I'm THIRTYFABULOUS and I'm sticking to it...I wouldn't go back to my teens or twenties. I like where I am and hope that when I'm fifty I'll say the same thing. God is good; Life is good...and women my age are AB-FAB! :)

**This piece is for all the 30Fabulous women out there; especially those pictured in the photo above!!! And for a guy five years older than I am, Salut!**